We are the ones who are afraid, not for ourselves, but of ourselves, of the energies that swirl like chaos ridden mists within us, always powerful and often unstable. We fear what we might unleash with our accidental words and unthinking memories, how it(we/they) will affect those, innocent or otherwise, who stand in our paths, who will be standing too near us when we lose that last fragile grip on our control. No matter how fast we scramble, we have no way to know if we will react fast enough, smart enough, reasonable enough to dampen the worst that we can unleash. Will the fires burn in anger, weaving a path of destruction and pain, or will they simply illuminate, bringing peace and wisdom to those who desperately need it? We dare not find out, and so we cage ourselves in bars of empathy, strengthening our prisons with the iron of self-taught determination.

We are confusing, a sacrifice we make, not always willingly, for the protection of others. Conversations couched in metaphors, words woven with a symphony of subtle innuendo are our best means of communication. We fear for you and somewhere, deep inside, for ourselves, afraid of your reactions, those barely there accusations in your eyes as we tangle the threads of your reality, reweaving the tapestry of life into something beyond your imagination. We cannot help it and yet we try so hard to deny ourselves, all for the sake of those who cannot see a truth they will not accept. We lost our place in your world long ago, relegating ourselves to the side lines, voyeurs on the edge of existence, watching but unable to interfere.

Day after day, life after life, we struggle to hold on to ourselves, remembering while revealing nothing. We congregate, like calling to like, taking comfort in the sharing of our dreams and memories. Some of us long for safety, for the quiet and calm that come with understanding and acceptance. Others seek release, a way to let the roaring fires burn without recrimination or reprisal. Still others are finding it hard to care, depriving their souls of self for too long, leaking power into the world around them without notice. Together, where we are strongest, we watch. We wait and we hope, searching for that faint stirring of wings, another heart brought into the fold. When you call for us, we will be here, but you might not always like what you find...